Offers in English:
More satisfied in life ...
... through nurturing interpersonal relationships
These ‘relationship weekends’ are free of charge. They are in-person events where you can explore in small groups new ways to nurture all your relationships.
They usually start on Friday evening and end on Sunday afternoon.
Currently planned dates:
-
20 - 22 June 2025
Quinta dos 7 Nomes
Banzão, Colares
The content of these weekends:
In a small group, you can explore challenging situations in your relationships and learn from them. You will learn to recognise the causes of unpleasantness or disagreements and find new ways to make these situations more constructive. This will make your relationships more fulfilling and increase your enjoyment of life.
These four ‘functions of togetherness ’ have the greatest influence on relationships:
-
What to do when something is unpleasant or painful...
What helps me and others when I'm not feeling well?
Why do we tick the way we do?
How do we avoid ‘trigger ping-pong’? (Mutual activation of painful points).
How do we ‘digest’ unpleasant or painful experiences and find compassionate mutual understanding?
We call this area ‘Shadow Engagement’, because the aim here is to become aware of what influences us and others, usually without realising it, and to integrate it in togetherness. Through awareness and compassion, understanding arises and development becomes possible. -
Learning together to get along with each other...
How can I give and receive feedback to make it easier for us to get along with each other?
In our society, we usually pile up unpleasant or painful things until we either explode, with all the subtle to extreme forms of violence against others. Or we implode and one of the countless forms of violence against ourselves shows up (addictions and dependencies, mental illness, chronic physical illness or suicide).
If instead feedback can flow in a sincere and compassionate way, we can find a form of togetherness that works for everyone.
This is the area of ‘Feedback Flow’, because the aim here is to keep telling each other how we are doing with what is happening, and thus to keep practising togetherness. -
Making decisions without provoking resistance or conflict...
How can we make decisions that work for everyone and nurture trust that everyone will be considered?
Each of us has probably experienced that we have to fight for our wishes if we don't want to give them up. Social reality seems to offer only two options: either we assert our interests and needs or we give them up. Sometimes we are forced to compromise, with both sides giving up to some extent.
If we use integrative decision making processes instead, which bring together the interests and needs of all and lead to integrative solutions, we learn that there is a third way: Decisions that work for everyone. And this path is possible in relationships as well as in communities and in society as a whole. In this way, we can also free ourselves from the dictatorship of the majority and find our way to a true democracy.
This is the area of ‘decision-making’, because the real task is to find an inclusive solution that works for everyone. -
Dealing with conflicts without provoking costly escalations...
How can we use conflicts to cultivate a nurturing togetherness? How do we move from conflict to co-operation?
As we have all more or less learnt to believe in guilt and deserve in our society, dealing with conflicts and also with mistakes is largely determined by the search for "the guilty one' and hiding one's own contributions to the conflict or mistake.
Dealing with conflicts in a healthy way is a decisive factor in promoting co-operation. This requires an understanding of our capacities and limitations.
This is the area of ‘Conflict Engagement’, because it is primarily about dealing with the conflict and not ignoring it. This also means that the conflict partners are not alone in it.
All of these functions are based on building mutual compassionate understanding. The unique needs-orientation of nonviolent communication is enormously helpful here because it makes understanding much easier.
This kind of mutual understanding is essential if a relationship is to succeed in the long term, regardless of the type of relationship involved. It is therefore also crucial for building communities that nourish all members - and thus also for a world that works for everyone.
In all of these ‘functions of togetherness’, holding those involved together is always helpful and often necessary.
Catering and costs:
The accommodation situation depends on the specific venue.
We plan to cater for ourselves collectively.
In connection with the costs, we would like to share an unusual but valuable alternative with you: We want to organise the weekend according to the principles of gift economy (more info here). This means that there are no participation fees! Nobody -- nobody has to give anything and everyone can contribute as much as they wish and are able to.
More information and registration:
Please register early - places are limited and it helps us to plan :-)
You can register at the Venue: Quinta7nomes.com/nonviolent-systems
or: via Whatsapp, Telegram or Signal: +49 160 2720 980 (please add the subject ‘Relationship weekend’).
If you have any questions, please call or send us a message.
Planned schedule for the weekend:
Friday:
16:00 - 17:00: Arrival
18:00 - 18:45: Dinner together
19:00 - 21:15: Getting to know each other and finding your own goals, as well as
Introduction and exercise on the topic of ‘Shadow Engagement’
Saturday:
08:45 - 09:15: Breakfast together
09:30 - 12:15: Getting into the mood for the day, as well as
Introduction and exercises on the topic of ‘feedback flow’
12:30 - 13:00: Rest/integration time
13:15 - 15:00: Light lunch and lunch break
15:15 - 18:00: Introduction and exercises on the topic of ‘Decision-making’
18:15 - 18:45: Rest/integration time
19:00 - 19:45: Hot dinner
20:00 - 21:00: Conclusion of the day, mourning and celebration
Sunday
08:45 - 09:15: Breakfast together
09:30 - 12:15: Introduction to the day, as well as
Introduction and exercises on the topic of ‘Conflict Engagement’
12:30 - 13:00: Rest/integration time
13:15 - 13:45: Hot lunch and lunch break
14:00 - 14:45: Introduction to the gift economy
14:45 - 15:45: Feedback and final round
Free Online Workshop
Part 1: Sunday, 7 Mai 2022 from 14 - 15:15 UTC (16 - 18:15 CET)
The Core Principles for Personal Liberation
Free telephone/online workshop
--- 2- part workshop ---
With Volkmar Richter
Inner Liberation to a world that works for all...
Part 1: Saturday, 7 Mai 2022 from 14 - 16:15 UTC (16 - 18:15 CET)
Introduction, info, exchange in a small group, demo and opportunity to ask questions
Part 2: Saturday, 14 Mai 2022 from 14 - 16:15 UTC (16 - 18:15 CET)
Self-experience „joy of living through compassion" in small groups
It is recommended to attend both parts of the workshop;
but participation in only one part is possible.
More information here
Registration here
or personally by phone: +49 (0) 160 2720 980
Next dates for this workshop in May:
Part 1: Sunday, 12. Juni 2022 from 08-10:15 UTC (10 - 12:15 CEST)
Part 2: Sunday, 19. Juni 2022 from 08-10:15 UTC (10 - 12:15 CEST)
Online Groups:
Seven Elements for Well-being and
Joy of Living in Everyday life
Cost-free online group to practice the seven principles,
necessary for emotional healing
For emotional well-being in everyday life
In these groups you learn and practice in a small group. You will learn and practice how to support yourself and others in transforming all discomfort of life into relaxation, empowerment and joy of living. Here, the "Seven Elements of Self-Healing", that I see in Robert Gonzales' NVC transformation practice and that are probably necessary for any emotional healing, are used as an extremely effective "method".
Do you experience stress, frustration, anxieties, or resignation in everyday life? With the Seven Elements you can transform them and retrieve and cultivate your life energy.
By practicing with other course participants you can also expand your support network.
The Seven Elements offer an effective practice for self-healing - and you can get to know and practice them from home.
What is the benefit of this online group?
- In a small group you can learn and practice to transform unpleasant feelings and experiences of everyday life into relaxation, energy and joy of life.
- You will find effective and friendly support for processing challenging experiences - from home.
- With this support you can integrate what you have learned into your everyday life and find more relaxation and satisfaction.
- You learn to better understand how your feelings arise and why you do or don't do certain things - you learn to understand yourself better.
- You can enlarge your personal support network.
Three alternativ dates:
Wednesdays at 09:30 - each 1. and 3. Wednesday every month
Thursdays at 20:00 - each 2. and 4. Thursday every month
Saturdays at 17:00 - each 2. und 4. Saturday every month
Registration:
- In the form below, or
- here at MailChimp, or
- via email: info@GFK-Lebensfreude.de
You can find more information here under "Online Groups"
What you can expect here ...
We are all moulded by the circumstances in which we grew up and these imprints are usually unconscious at first. Nevertheless, they have a fundamental impact on our relationships, on our lives and even on our health.
Many of these imprints can be considered traumatisations and are ultimately caused by "violent" social systems. By violent systems we mean social "habits", from explanation patterns and beliefs, to procedures and methods, to structures, rules and laws, which cause coercion and dominance and thereby hurt people. These social "habits" are not "made" by anyone and each of us has internalised them to a greater or lesser extent.
On this website you will find support for your individual liberation from your small and big limitations, as well as support for the social liberation from the systems that have a violent effect on all of us. I assume that any such liberation can only happen non-violently, i.e. with respect for the needs of all.
Many of our individual imprints have harmful effects on our health, on our lives and on our relationships - usually without us even being aware of it. Similarly, many
societal "habits" have harmful effects on all of us - internally they ultimately contribute to violence and crime, and internationally they ultimately contribute to terrorism and
war.
However, we can liberate ourselves from the harmful imprints of our childhood if we become aware of them and transform them with the help of friends and suitable resources.
And we can also dissolve the violent social habits by learning appropriate "non-violent" alternatives and practising them in our sphere of influence. In this way they become
known and can naturally replace their violent forms.
Individually, through this release of our imprints, we can free our life energy and lead a more meaningful and healthier life.
Societally, we can prevent ourselves from being further injured by the violent systems and also prevent future generations from suffering such harmful imprints, and build
a society and a world in which every human being can live a dignified life and in which violence is therefore no longer necessary.
Such a world would suit everyone and we can contribute to its creation by learning and practising non-violent systems that can replace the existing violent systems. In particular, six areas are
important: decision-making, information flow, resource flow, feedback flow, conflict management, and support.
The Purpose of my Work:
With my offers I want to help people to free themselves from suffering. I believe this personal liberation is intertwined with a social and global liberation because everybody who has been brought up in a society (thus every human being) has internalised the external structures of their society and thus decides and acts mostly unconsciously in accordance to these internalised structures. And thus contributes to the suffering as far as these structures are causing suffering.
Nowadays almost every society is based on the principles of dominance and coercion with the most important tool of control. Probably more than 99 % of humanity is living in such societies and everybody in the "western" world. Because of that the internalisation of the external structures means that we all foster mostly unconsciously these principles of dominance and coercion through our decisions and actions, even if we fight the external structures.
The internalisation of the principles of dominance and coercion works mostly through traumatisation and thus the liberation of these internalised structures of dominance and coercion requires an ongoing life practice of "shadow work" as Ken Wilber points names it. Without a practice like that all activism is likely to foster the principles of dominance and coercion and the external structures that are built on them rather than changing them. The "Seven Elements of Self-Healing" is an effective "shadow work" practice based on Robert Gonzales' transformation practice that I have learned first in 2008. Robert Gonzales' focus is on internal transformation and his work is based on Nonviolent Communication of Marshall Rosenberg.
Since 2011 I'm more an more inspired by Miki Kashtan's work on applying the principles of Nonviolent Communication on external transformation of communities, organisations and societies. So in addition to my work in internal liberation I increasingly focus on social change. Together with others I'm exploring and developing ways in the "Nonviolent Global Liberation Community" that Miki Kashtan has initiated and that she keeps nurturing (NGLCommunity.org). There we seek for ways to overcome the principles of dominance and coercion in the modern societies that cause harm and suffering not only for humanity. This predominant "type of society" is also referred to as a "patriarchal society" (all genders, not only men are fostering it!).
In the "Nonviolent Global Liberation Community" we are working to develop ways to realize the vision of a post-patriarchal world -- a world that is based on the principle of care
and thus that works for all.
Further explanations:
By "suffering" I mean the discomfort that arises from "guilt and merit thinking" and that leads to new violence against oneself and/or against others again and again.
By "violence" I mean actions or omissions that are experienced as disregarding needs and interests and thus as harmful.
"Nonviolence" does not mean "fulfilling all needs at any time" (this might often be impossible at times), but it means: acknowledging all needs and interests at any
time -- and acknowledging needs that we know is principally possible at any time.
The desire to respect all needs at all times is nevertheless a very high demand, because we can probably never know all the needs and interests that are affected by what we do or don't do. We
"don't know what we are doing" because we're never able to know all the consequences and side effects of what we do or don't do - life is far too complex to allow that. However, we always can
strive for non-violence, we always can strive to not-harm, we always can strive to consider all needs and for this we need a culture of openness and trust, so that everybody gets timely feedback
if we overlook something.
The principles of dominance and coercion with their "tools" of blame and judgement (the " guilt and merit thinking ") make such feedback more difficult and usually even impossible. This also
makes it more difficult or even impossible for people to (better) get to know the consequences of their actions and inactions and, if necessary, to find alternative courses of action.
For me, these considerations also show that non-violence is best possible in living communities, because here it is not only possible, but also necessary, to build up this culture of openness and
trust. We humans are dependent on each other to compensate for our individual blind spots and to get to know the consequences and side effects of our actions better.
With my offers I want to support people in building up Resources (especially friends and effective "methods") that can build the foundation for a "mutual support group", so that
everybody can build up or expand such a community themselves.
Together with others eventually I want to build up a virtual mutual support community that can support everybody's "mutual support group" to thrive. A virtual mutual support
community that supports liberation by supporting personal liberation.